How Much Can A Husband Handle?

I am new to EP and my husband doesn't know that I write here. I joined to write about things I can't talk to anyone about and hopefully get some feedback. Even if not I hope it will help me sort things out for myself.
I stopped working and have more free time now - which I decided to use to get myself to a new level in my life. Align with my true purpose if you will. Not going great - I have to say. I disappoint myself - seemed to be much more together when I worked. One thing I realized is that all these years that we were married I wasn't completely honest with my DH and couldn't ask for what I needed. I still can't do it. I become mute and can't bring myself to saying the words. Literally the words don't come out. This is crazy because we love each other very much and technically I should be able to say what I want to say - still mute. I don't want to ask for something unusual - very much text book womens requests, like little more romance, little more passionate sex, that I need couple more sessions in terapy to figure out what I should do with my life now. Should I tell him that I struggle with accomplishing what I thought I will accomplish staying at home?
If I tell him what really bothers and scares me - would he be able to handle it or it will just scare and depress him?
Would love some advice.

This story once ended up in a wrong group - I really wanted to get feedback - hence reprinting :)
2much41life 2much41life
41-45, F
3 Responses Mar 3, 2011

Thank you persererer!

Both good and valid points. On the one hand, it is important to communicate rather than stagnate. On the other hand, discretion is the better part of valour. If you tell your husband you need more romance, for example, will he feel rejected and belittled? And then if more romance happens, you will be wondering if it is just because you mentioned it and you will be wishing it was happening spontaneously from his heart. I think you are doing the right thing, putting your thoughts out here in EP land and gathering insight before deciding how best to approach your areas of concern.

Thank you AlmostAristotle - I really like your "stage name" actualy. This is a good point I am a little all over the place. That's because there are so many things that I try to figure out for myself. <br />
I mostly wanted to some feedback on how honest people, even close people can be with each other. Without this honesty becoming a burden or scary or disgusting.