Thinking I Had Plenty of Time

Looking back over my life I realize now there was one thing I always took for granted -TIME. 

I married young and gave him many years of my life. I worked diligently to make that marriage work, though in the end I knew it was better to just pull the plug and let it die.

What I didn't know then was that TIME is a thief. TIME stole my youth. After age 40, most men are looking for younger women. Yes, I know, I've read the upbeat articles (with no hard statistics for proof) that say finding love after 40 is possible. But I have to say for me, and for my single female friends, I don't see it happening. And when I input my data into an Internet calculator designed to tell my chance of finding a mate, it said I have a 6% chance. Really? 6%? It seems having a college education can be detrimental to finding a mate after 40.

Don't get me wrong, I can live just fine without a man; I've been doing it for quite awhile now. But I never thought I would have to and I'd prefer not to. I never realized that there is a window of opportunity, when you are young and naive and prone to making poor choices, when you are able to meet the man of your dreams. Once that window of opportunity is closed (for me it was age 40) you are passed up, left behind.

For fun, I tried the online dating scene and was told over and over by men older than me that I was too old for them. One guy in his 60's (I was in my 40's) said he wanted a young wife so he could have more children. No doubt he probably found her. There are plenty of young women anxious to marry older men.

I regret that I will have no one to grow old with, who will remember me as the young woman he fell in love with, even when I am old and gray and no longer resemble her. I wanted to be that old couple that you see walking down the sidewalk, hand in hand, just two old geezers still in love.

Thankfully my life is pleasantly busy and mostly filled with joy. I have been richly blessed in other areas of my life. I only wish I hadn't taken TIME for granted and that someone had told me about the window of opportunity.