She Has Eaten My Entrails


  2001 was a year of severe challenges for me. Central to the topic my large intestine died.

 I started to bleed and went to the Dr. An exam was performed were they put a flashlight and a camera on the end of a long flexible tube and stick the whole thing up your rectum. This was not as much fun as it sounds. 

  My large intestine was filled with little red bumps. They told me I had to have my large intestine removed ASAP. The next day I went to surgery and the deed was done.

Three days later I had a fever and a heart beat of 120. Then things got worse.

I had irregularly heart beats and a Staff Infection.   Then things got much worse.

The infection began to spread and did not respond to treatment. They had to take blood from my chest because my veins became hard and would collapse when they tried to draw blood. I over heard them use the word “cascade”…When I worked I Respiratory Care I knew that when the Dr. said the pt’s problems were “cascading” the pt. was near death.

This went one for two weeks. I hallucinated. My wife told me I was in a deep conversation with someone. I was not aware of “reality”. I have no memory of this. 

  Then I got better. In one month I had lost 50 lbs.   I went home.

The next morning at 4am I went to our sacred room and prayed. On impulse I picked up the Barbara G Walker’s deck of tarot cards. I shuffled them and one card popped out. It was the Queen of Swords : Kali.

The picture illustrated Kali dancing on the body of Shiva while she drew entrails from his belly and devoured them.  

I laughed and it hurt and I laughed more. I began to hurt so much I yelped in pain. My wife came into the room and wiped the tears from face and said “what is that smell?’ 

 We both looked down and saw my Ostomy bag had come off and I had **** in my lap. I love you too Holy Mother…DD             

Dewduster Dewduster
66-70, M
Mar 2, 2009