Wishing For Impossible.

...Today was the day I finally thought my mom would be proud of me...
my report card was covered in straight A's..
i finally thought she would stop blaming for her life..
i finally thought that maybe everything would change..
well i was dead wrong.
I came in throught the door happy excited even finally it was my time to shine i was sure i would get a break for once and the guilt and hate she throw's at me would maybe stop but again.
wrong.
All she did was give it a glance...
that's when it began the speech.
she yells "WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. WHY DID I HAVE A STUPID DAUGHTER JUST LIKE YOUR TERRIBLE STEP SISTER JUST LIKE YOUR DIRTY FATHER. YOUR FAT LIKE THEM TOO. I CAN'T STAND YOU. I WISH I STAYED BACK IN MY COUNTRY. IM THE REASON YOUR HERE AND YOU CAN'T EVEN GET 100'S WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS !!! HUH. YOUR USELESS AND PATHETIC."
i've givin up honestly there was no use to fight it. Maybe she's right. but im so sick of this if i was the best person in the world and flawless she still would have found a reason to hate me. i can't win.
it was the first time i hadn't gotten a B and i thought maybe i'd be sparred...she blames me for my father
that it was my fault she's still living with him..that it's my fault she doesn;t have a life. the guilt she wasn't me to carry has gotten to heavy and i wish i could do something to stop it.

never will it be right and somehow my last piece of hope was shattered. What's the point in working hard if all your getting is hate and being brought down. every time i swim to shore it seems like no matter how strong i become something gets tangled on my foot and i sink and it's un removable. No use fighting im simply wishing for impossible. period.
lostandunsure99 lostandunsure99
13-15, F
7 Responses Jan 7, 2013

Ask god for your emotions to be at his mercy because parents abuse or not usually have a profound effect on their children. The amazing thing is if your mother does hate you. You are smart enough to realize it. A lot of kids never can accept or believe it. They suffer a lot.

thank you. God is my way out. thankyou for helping me relize that.

Parents that act like they hate you are sometime mad at you. That type of anger is strong. For example are you inconsiderate ?

On the other hand, if she does hate you she is sick. Maybe she was abused. I advise you from your young age to find god. Because when you are at the mercy of someone who hates you it is never fun or easy. You have a long road ahead of you.

It is difficult being a single women. Especially for some women. They just want to be loved by a man any man. I don't understand or like that. On the other hand, some women spend there whole lives giving and giving to there children an in return they get nothing back. Not even the respect they deserve. So understand it is difficult to be a single mom.

well..my mother isn't a single mom see we all live with my dad and all. and she always blackmail's me about how if i wasn't born then she wouldn't have to live with him that she would actually have a life and how it's my fault, and maybe it is, but i didn't have the choice of being born she had the choice of marrying my dad. but she is right about how she is staying with him for me...he doesn't abuse her she just hates him. i understand that she isn't to blame that it is my fault too but im always caring around this guilt whenever i try to talk to her she doesnt listen. i just want a way out.

Also, dear if you mother does hate you. You need good grades to get out sooner love. To control your life you will need good grades to argue with her if it get verbally abusive.

are you sure you didn't do something wrong to her. Did you greet her when you walked in? In some cultures that is a big no no. A lot of time the trouble is the difference in culture.

no i always work hard just to make her happy..do good in school, help her out whenever i can, but idk..its just never good enough.

okay so u got all A s you must be learning a lot in school

what happen are you okay you there