White Devils

About a year ago, I got a frantic call from my friend who lives a subdivision over from mine.  She was freaking out because she woke up from a nap and there was a "little white rat" menacingly chattering at her through her sliding-door window.  I just dismissed the call and thought that she was being an idiot and had half-dreamed the whole thing, since the only squirrels in my area are brown, with the exception of a few black ones.

I had completely forgotten about my friend's squirrel episode until a few months ago, when I saw two squirrels fighting in my back-yard.  One squirrel was the typical fat, brown squirrel that we usually see around here.  The other one was albino, being completely white with beady little red eyes.  At first, I thought that it was really weird and was a little creeped out, because I've never seen one like that before, but now, these things are becoming more and more common---THE ALBINO SQUIRRELS ARE TAKING OVER!!!

It wasn't until a week ago that I had any problems with these new rodent neigbors of mine.  The nights are beginning to get a little chilly here and I guess that the squirrels know that Fall is coming... which is why a couple of the albino squirrels have set up residence in my garage.  I didn't know that the squirrels had set up camp in there, so when I went out to get a pop from the fridge in my garage the other day (barefoot and in my pajamas, no less), you can imagine my frightened shock when one of these albino squirrels with the freaky red eyes came a couple feet away from my bare foot, bared its teeth, and started making weird aggressive chirping noises at me. Naturally, I totally flipped out, gave a blood-curdling shriek, and chucked my can of pop at the squirrel as I made a mad dash for the door. 

Once I got inside, that's when things really got pathetic.  I was having an all-out meltdown; I was shaking and blubbering like a baby.  I left my parents about a dozen messages, half of which were useless because no one could tell what I was saying (I sounded sort of like Will Ferrel in the "I hit him with a burrito" scene from Anchorman).  By the time one of them returned my calls, I had settled down a bit, though I was still tense because I could hear the squirrels doing God knows what in the garage.  When I had to go to work later that day, I was a nervous wreck and I know that my neighbors think I'm nuts because I set the car alarm off on my car a few times to try to scare the squirrels off before I got in my car... it was terrible.

So, yes, I have yelled at a squirrel and, if one of them ever comes near me again I'll probably scream, soil myself, and/or pass out! 

femmegenderal femmegenderal
18-21, F
2 Responses Sep 13, 2008

I shall report to my squirrel masters that you have learned about The War and must be terminated.

OMG!!!!!!!! ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I shouldn't make fun because this kind of thing happened to me not so very long ago, only with chipmunks....they found the container of bird seed I keep in my garage. I went to fill a bird feeder one day and when I was about to reach for the lid, out pops three chipmunks! Yeah, I was a little freaked & now I keep a brick on top of the container. I haven't seen any of the critters lately....they usually eat the fallen bird seed from below the feeders....I'd hate to think they were nesting in my garage...I sure hope they aren't!