Why Must It Be This Way?

I am going to get all emotional here. I haven't lived that long yet but the things I've seen are just so confusing to me. I know there is good people in this world but why is it easier to find the bad? Ever since I could remember I've seen people fight over material things that don't last forever. I have one very good question. Why? What is that going to do for you as a person? Why are people so weak minded that all that matters is what they own or can buy with money. You know the best things in life really are free and that is why they are hard to find. I can feel all this negative energy just bringing my spirits down. It's affected the atmosphere around me and I can't understand why. Why do people do what they do? I believe everyone has a good and bad side. One simply cannot exist without the other. However why is it that I see more doing bad then good? Doesn't anyone care about anything any more? I remember all the fighting that went on at my home. A lot of hateful words were said and then my parents both fall ill. The fighting stopped but I always felt that this happened cause of all the negativity. If I could see that as a teen why the hell can't most adults see when they make mistakes? I know I'm far from perfect but there has to be some good energy somewhere, coming from someone. Now any one who knows me knows that I like a lot of evil monsters and horror movies ( and yes I'm the one who laughs when they die and will see if I can scare you while watching it) if I can find in my heart to forgive and forget why can't everyone else? I've cried for people and tried to help them with the best advice that comes from my heart. I know there is so much more to a person then how good they look, or how good they are at this and that. Why do people only chose to look out for themselves? I mean some of us get angry or upset over such trivial things. You know before you even finish reading this you could breathe your last breath. You never know what will happen. We lose good people in our lives cause we chose to secure a wall around ourselves that feels comfortable to us. Then we blame every thing else in the world. Truth is it's us that hurt ourselves. I know I have done and said a lot of hurtful things cause I'm guilty of having one of this "comfy walls" and it's almost caused some one very dear to me to leave. I relive horrible memories in my head and try to remember how I went wrong and learn from it. All I want any one who has read this to do is think. What would you regret right now in your life if it ended right now? Should you be mad, sad, happy, or whatever you feel for whatever reasons? I'm almost 30 years old and I've been thinking about my entire life up until this point. Wondering what I could have done different. Maybe I would be in a better situation, maybe worse. Not the point in changing the past or thinking "what could be." But I know I want to make sure in the future I gave my all to be where I am. So just remember that when you can replace a material item, you can't replace a person.
Tara277 Tara277
31-35, F
3 Responses Jan 7, 2013

I feel similar frustration. I meant to articulate in in a story somewhere but you have done it here. My parents didn't have extended fights, and rarely had any others (or kept it out of ther kids' faces. You may have to fight the anger for years yet; even though you are aware of the problem, we fall back on instincts we pick up from our surroundings.

I have become much more prone to fight like that after being married to someone who fights like your parents (hers were the same way). I hate what this is making me into. But you are on the right course, aware of your flaws and potential flaws, and working to be better.

Kudos.

I would have to say that it is human to judge people by their faults instead of their good deeds. These tend to stick out. Perhaps it is acceptable that people are going to be good and hence the why we take the bad to judge.
Those who are close to us are the ones who care the most, but should they make a mistake we take that very badly as it hurts.

I can relate to you a lot. I've come to the conclusion that it is far easier to spot the imperfections in people and the flaws in their character than the good and positive. I see a lot of bad too but I also make the effort to see the good and derive joy from the little things that may seem trivial but when put into perspective actually mean the world. People kind of just lose sight of whats important and sometimes it takes a while for people to see that. Take care all the best :)

Yeah. It is good to have joy from the small kind things that people do in a kind way.