Producing A New Gum
Two men were in the process of inventing a new brand of gum. They were arguing over the fact that their new gum was too hard and brittle and didn't have the...
“My cousin has a callus on only one foot. Does that make her a unicorn?”
For their anniversary, a couple went out for a romantic dinner. Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and leave it waiting.
When they got home, they saw that the...
God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me."
Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"
God said, "Go down into that valley."
Adam said, "What's a...
A man calls his adult son on the phone and tells him that despite the wonderful 50th anniversary party his son and daughter had thrown for them last year, the man and his wife were...
Who doesn't? I love all types, especially the ones where I'm the only person laughing.
The woman at the insurance office inquired as to the costs, amounts paid, etc.
"So," she concluded, "if I pay five dollars, you pay me a thousand if my house burns down. But do you...
“The couple separated, for the wife had a stalemate.”
Late one night at the insane asylum, one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another patient asked, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "Because God told me!"
Just then, a...
Why did the scarecrow excel in his career?
..because he was out-standing in his field!
But hay, it runs in his jeans.
After Tuesday even the calendar goes "wtf."
Men say that women should come with instruction, what's the point of that? Have you actually seen a man read the instructions anyways?..
If you ever feel stupid, remember that one time my twin brother forgot my birthday.