Some times kids are really funny, Samantha wanted to get the sprinklers out this afternoon, I told her she didn't have a bikini, she has been with me at work all morning and this...
A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage.
The photon replies, “No, I'm traveling light.”
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent.
THE "P" is silent, Coral!!
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. it's just something I could really see myself doing
I have a hearing aid called a BAHA but my friends 3 years old son who I'm close to can't pronounce it so calls it a BABA. We have gave up trying to correct hin now lol
My husband taught my four year old son to tell me I'm so pretty when he's in trouble. Now he says it even when he's not in trouble :) :) :)
an ugly girl goes into a haunted house when a ghost comes out. The girl screams God help me and the ghost replies i was going to say the same thing.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "DAM!"
why did the tomato blush? because he saw the salad dressing
Which president was least guilty?
Lincoln, because he was in a cent.
*ba dum tss*
So I saw a picture of Dwane the Rock Johnson hugging a rock, the caption was "Love Yourself"
I laughed harder than I should have
Pretty girl wanting to marry a rich husband:
"I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a...
A Birthday Wish
Little Sonia was shouting her prayers. "Please God send me a new doll for my birthday."
Her mother, overhearing this, said, "Don't shout dear, God isn't deaf...
I had a problem with my boiled egg this morning. I've cracked it now!”
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
I had to take my kids to work with me today, (it was an interesting day to say the least) I turn to them before we get out of the car and say to them " You two better be on your...
Technically I laugh at myself