I'm in the library right now staring out the window at huge fluffy snow flakes. I love snow, it's so beautiful and mesmerizing. very distracting at the moment though, and writing...
I tried to catch the fog the other day, but I mist it.
Some guy at the bar turns to his friend and says: you are getting really fat!!
His epic reply: yeah it's because every time I sleep with your wife she makes me a sandwich...
Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
Made my day. Hope it makes yours.
A kid walk up to me and said Fu@€ you to me I was like why but it was adorable how he said it so I did not do nothing cuase he's a kid
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom Salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned...
Someone please spam me with laugh out loud jokes! In that kind of mood 😂
Anagrams of British politicians' names:
"Goofer! Why is free?" (Sir Geoffrey Howe)
"Should Guard" (Douglas Hurd)
"That Great Charmer" (Margaret Thatcher)
(Quoted by John Simpson)
My friend Brent has te most sexiest racist but funny jokes, he doesn't mean to be mean but it just comes to his head. In ROTC some coast guard people came and my friend Mary said...