there once was a girl very foxy,
who danced every night at the Roxy;
randy boys came to cheer
and to buy her a beer,
not knowing she had lots of moxie.
my uncle, who lived in the north,
one winter set foolishly forth,
but once in the muskeg,
the frost took his left leg,
left the right one, for what it was worth.
a puzzled young man name of Potter
muzzled and tied his pet otter
and said, "he's not dead,
as I keep the boy fed,
but my koi are now saved from a slaughter.
there once was a lad from Caerphilly
whose girlfriend was known as Sad Millie;
not much of a look,
not much of a cook,
but a very close friend to his willie.
there once was a man from Land's End,
who slaughtered an old laying hen;
"She's a stomach on legs
and she's quit laying eggs.
for a dinner I'd do it again!"
a criminal genius named Bellamy
had a pretty young daughter named Melanie,
and one at a time
he taught her each crime,
so that now her whole life is a felony.
a daring young man got so high,
he lay back and stared at the sky;
his eyes were soon dazzled,
his brain was so frazzled,
he said, "Look Ma, I think I can fly!"
there was a young woman named Kate,
who suffered a terrible fate;
she ate calamari with rice and red wine,
sea urchins cooked slowly, and nuts from a pine,
and then she became...
there once was a young girl named Iris,
who lived in the days of papyrus;
she passed from our world one day,
and all that her doctors would say:
"Man, that was one he** of a virus...
there once was a girl named Inez,
whose husband sat home and ate Pez;
she gave him a hassle
when she tugged on the tassel
that hung from the top of his fez.
there once was an old man from Metz,
who treated his children like pets;
his wife said, "Come on,
the kids are long gone,
and you're still as dumb as it gets."
a sorority girl, name of Pat,
who'd hang out most nights at the frat,
she teased all the boys
with a boxful of toys,
while her sisters passed round with the hat.
a couple from out near Durango
could dance a fantastic fandango.
the crowd said "Okay,
now step out of the way,
we'll show you a terrific new tango.
Dogs are our link to paradise . They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent . To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing...
a girl from near Lake Superior
had a perfectly stunning exterior;
in the mirror she saw,
by the luck of the draw,
that everyone else was inferior.
a beautiful woman named Proctor
decided to become a doctor;
the boys in the class
just stared at her a**,
while the other girls silently mocked her.
The silver shadowed moon
Gave way to the hot noon
One look, one touch, I shiver
My body starts to quiver
The powerful sea washes us down
Without your love...
"To find yourself, think for yourself."